Saturday, October 9, 2010

a scar at a time.

"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with."
- Harry Crews

I wish I had found this quote long, long ago. There's a good chance it would have saved me from a lot of anger throughout the years. 

I think scars are one of the most important parts of a person. They tell stories. They are unique. No one will ever have the exact same scar as another person. They make us, well, US. There's the scars you can't see - the ones on the heart and the soul. Those ones can be hidden rather easily. Sometimes, we get too good at hiding those scars that we are afraid to remember just how deep they go until we have to reveal them. You can't hide any scar forever.
 
Then, there are the scars which cannot be hidden. The ones on our bodies. The ones which show other people what we have been through. The ones that remind some of us daily about the torments and experiences we have gone through which we wish we could forget. But seeing those scars, as Crews stated, proves that we made it through something we may not have thought possible. And for that, they are beautiful.

In my opinion, the best part about our scars is the stories that come from them. Some are silly, some are intense, but no matter what, they are stories. They show a part of our soul which may not have any other way of coming out. They tell a person, if we allow them to hear, what we have been through and how we have shaped into who we are. So, here are some of my most important scars, and most important stories...


These two go hand in hand. They aren't all that important, but they're a big part of who I am. I got both of these scars, one on my knee and one on my elbow, from running. YES, running. Not running anywhere difficult, like a hill or up a mountain. Just running on flat land. And that's when I realized that firstly, I am NOT a land athlete, but instead should stay in the water, and secondly, I am one of the clumsiest people in the world. These ones make me laugh. But more importantly, they make other people laugh when I tell them how I got them. Reason number one I am an embarrassment to the world :)


This is my second most important scar. This scar is the only reason I am alive today. Yes, it looks like I had a c-section and gave birth to a child sometimes. But seeing as how I got this scar when I was only four years old, that is clearly not what happened. This scar is a result of kidney surgery, the surgery that saved my life as my only kidney was going into kidney failure. I have hated this scar since I was about 12; my mom wouldn't let me buy a pair of swim-suit bottoms because they showed my scar. At the time, I hated it, but now, I couldn't be more proud. I wouldn't have the past 14 years of my life without this one, and I wouldn't have my incredible future to come. Very few people have seen this scar until now...and I couldn't be happier to share it. This scar is proof that my life is a miracle. 

Though you can only see three here, on my shoulder there are four single scars - the most important ones to me. Two scars show where three stitches were, the other two only had two stitches. This, as I'm sure you can guess, is the result of the shoulder surgery I had February 17th, 2009. The surgery that has made the past year and a half of my life a complete struggle, both emotionally and mentally...and maybe a bit physically too. I hated these scars from day one...I felt awkward wearing anything showing my right shoulder. These scars were the reminder that I wasn't strong enough to play water polo anymore. These scars had me wondering if I would ever play again. These scars kept me up, thinking and crying, a lot more often than they should have. But they're a part of me, and these, more than any other, prove to me that I have the power to overcome anything. These scars took my passion, my life away. But now, because of them, I have it all back. They have given back what they took from me, truly a sign that the struggle is over.

Those are obviously just a few of my scars. Being the fearless girl I am, I've earned quite the collection of scrapes and scars. And from them, I've grown.

"I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it." - Carly Simon
 
It's like she took the words from my own mind...

never forget to dream,
xoxo, L.

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